The emotions of choosing your donor.

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Choosing an Egg Donor

Choosing an Egg Donor

Choosing an egg donor can be a very difficult and emotional to some. The staff at Creative Love is here to help you through all of the emotions of choosing your donor. When you look through the donor database try and take a few moments to put your emotions to the side. What's important when looking through the donor database is finding balance between finding the qualities that are critical to you and giving up some requirements that are less important.

Important Decisions

When having a child through egg donation it is merely impossible to find a donor with exact characteristics of yourself.  What’s most important is finding a donor that is most similar to you and one that meets your criteria and fits your family.  Also, when looking through the donor database pay close attention to what the donors have to say about themselves.  Ask any question that you might have about a particular donor.  Request to see more pictures of any donor that you might be interested in.  You are investing a lot emotionally and monetarily in this process and we want you to feel as comfortable as possible.   Every donor on the database is unique in their own way.  Often an intended parent will say they want to find the perfect donor that best matches the needs that they are looking for.   We are here to help you every step of the way, but we would also like to remind our intended parents that your egg donor is only half of the equation.   Your future child might inherit all the great looks and qualities of his or her father.

When choosing your donor it is important to decide if you want to work with an anonymous donor, one that you will never meet or a known donor, one that you can chose to have contact with.  It is a personnel choice deciding on what type of donor you are most comfortable working with and what works best for your family.  It is important to decide if you plan to disclose that you used an egg donor to your future child.  If you decide not to ever disclose this information to your child then it’s best to never disclose this information to any family or friends.  The only person a child born through egg donation should learn how they were conceived is through the parent(s) that they were born too.  Under these circumstances then it is best to work with an anonymous egg donor and not work with a known donor that could possible want to have future relationship with the child or family.

Remember every egg donor cycle is unique in it’s own way and you as the intended parent are protected through your legal contracts.  One of the many different reasons the legal contract is of such importance is to protect you and recognize the Intended Parent as the legal parent to the child born through egg donation.  Regardless of what type of egg donor cycle you chose the donor still must go through the same extensive screening process.  Remember when choosing your donor to be pro-active in the process the entire time.  You can request to review the psychological evaluation on your donor.  You can request to review all of the genetic screening on your donor as well.  We have compiled a list of Do’s and Don’ts to help you in your journey choosing an egg donor.

DO’s
  • Make a list in order of what are the most important criteria for the donor that you are looking to work with.
  • Look at the physical traits of the donor that you are considering.  If you want the child to look like your family then look at the donors coloring and physical characteristics.
  • Choose someone that seems like a good fit for your family.
  • Remember that you can’t possible replace yourself so look for a donor that has qualities that appeal to you.
  • Get to know the donor that you are interested in by really reading what the donor has to say about herself. You should be able to feel a sense of her personality.
  • Remember that it only takes one good embryo to achieve a successful pregnancy.  It’s not about quantity with your donor it is about quality! There have been countless successful cycles involving donors with lower egg counts.
  • Remember that choosing a proven donor does not guarantee a successful pregnancy.  All proven donors were once first time donors as well!
DON’T
  • Don’t force yourself to settle on a particular donor because you feel the pressure to cycle within a certain time frame and feel the urgency to be pregnant.  Take the time to find the donor that you feel most comfortable with and is the right fit for your family.
  • Don’t allow yourself to fixate on qualities or traits of a donor.  This can cause you to overlook a donor that could potentially be the right donor for you and a perfect fit for your family. Be opened minded when looking through the donor database.
  • Don’t fixate on just one donor.  Creative Love works hard to screen our donors. Sometimes things can go wrong with the donor that you have chosen.  Your donor can possibly fail a phase of the screening process that is unforeseen or unexpected.  Even a perfect donor can fail a psychological screening, genetic screening or have issues with the legal contract. This is why we work with the most experienced professionals in the industry to assist us in the screening process. We want you to be protected before the donor that you have chosen begins the medication phase of the cycle. However, sometime situation arise out of everyone’s  hands and this is why we recommend  that you have a backup donor that you would also be interested in working with.
  • Don’t worry about if your doing the right or wrong thing in regards to turning to egg donation.  All of the feelings of giving up your own genetic contribution is normal. Egg Donation is such a personal journey whether you are embarking on it alone or with a partner.  However, in time like all other things in life it all comes together and you get to achieve and enjoy everything you worked so hard for and that is having your very own child.
  • Remember not to focus on trying to find a replacement for yourself because that is near impossible.  Just focus on finding a donor that you feel a connection with and one that you feel most comfortable with.