The first thing you will hear from woman who have been there before is how fulfilling it is.
“I would do it over again as many times as I can.”
“I just couldn’t believe how our lives were enriched by this.”
Being a surrogate mother is a very special role. It is special both because of how it makes a woman feel, and because it really is a role for very special women. Loving women. Giving women. But also women are prepared to face some of the challenges.
The top pro for surrogate motherhood is the feeling of fulfillment. Giving life. Fulfilling a frustrated couple’s dreams. Creating families. Doing what nature intended a woman to do, without more of a lifelong parenting commitment than you are willing to make. But there are some possible cons that need to be considered.
Parting ways? Will you be able to hand the child over to the intended parents at the end of the process? You’ve signed a contract, so you’ll have to. But will you be able to emotionally?
What about your partner? Is he 200 percent behind you on this? You need to do this as a team. You’re the star player, but behind every successful woman, there has to be a loving and supporting man. You can’t do this without him, and you certainly can’t do this against his wishes. Grumbling acceptance doesn’t count, by the way.
Is your body up to it? You might already have discovered that pregnancy leaves a lasting impact on your body. Maybe you don’t care. Or maybe you do. The fact is that each successive pregnancy takes an additional, long-lasting toll on your body. In some women, it’s barely noticeable. In other women, the change is obvious.
Can you afford the time? Surrogacy takes a lot of time, just as any pregnancy does. If you have two young children and a job, maybe your work-life balance is already out of balance. Maybe surrogacy would be too much for your schedule. Loading up on stress is not good for you, for the fetus or for your children.
Can you afford the money? You will be paid to be a surrogate mother. Depending on your current income, that might be more than you are making now or less than you are making now. Keep in mind that if there are complications, you might have to be off work for longer than expected. The couple will be responsible for your net-lost-wages, but does your job want to give you the time. You could lose work benefits like money paid into your 401K.
Are you comfortable with the risk? Speaking of complications, are you prepared for the risk? Every pregnancy has an element of risk. While that risk is small for most people, you need to be aware of it.
In the end, we believe that surrogacy is worth the risk, and if you can line up the other factors – emotions, partner, physical effects, time, money and risk – you should talk to us about the possibilities of becoming a surrogate mother.Return to Blog