Here Are Some Simple Ways To Bond
Many same-sex parents worry, “how am I going to bond with our baby when the baby is born”. They question themselves if they will have that bond from the moment the baby is born. Just because your not in the same house as your surrogate there is that natural bonding that takes over when the baby is born. Don’t feel alone in this. Most intended parents feels this way regardless of there sexual orientation. Consulting with a licensed psychologist to help you though the transition into parenthood via surrogacy can be beneficial. Below are just a few helpful hints.
Touch and Feel: Once the baby is born it’s important for you and your partner to step in and naturally take over right away. The baby should go right to you at delivery. You should be prepared for some skin-to-skin time with the baby. Let the baby get to know your heartbeat and sense of smell. Knowing that this baby is your genetic child will help in the bonding. The non-genetic partner will feel just as much of a bond with the baby merely based on your love for one another.
Talking to the baby: Letting the baby hear your voice is soothing to the baby . Language is a key element in connecting with the baby. You should sing lullaby’s and talk a lot to the baby. Your voice can carry different emotions so choice a tone that is soothing and comforting to the baby. Truly just talking to the baby in general you are forming an attachment to each other. Babies do understand more then you think. You might want to records the voice of you and your partner into a recorder and have the surrogate play it nightly on her belly for the baby to hear.
Nurturing the baby: Taking full charge of the baby with your partner right away is necessary to transition right into the bonding. Attending to the baby’s needs like diaper change, and feedings will help in the bonding. Holding the baby not only for soothing, but also because you can will give the baby bonding time. Remember you can never spoil a newborn. No such thing! Being consistent to your babies needs will also help you with bonding. After the birth having a second room for you, your partner and the baby will help in the bonding too. Also, remember your surrogate needs rest too.
Playing with the baby: Not only holding the bond, but playing through singing songs will allow for more bonding time. Of course after several months play time and fun time will increase as the baby becomes stronger and your level of confidence is higher.
Consider joining a support group from the start of your journey: No better way then to connect to couples or individuals that have walked your path before you. It’s important that your never fearful in your journey. At Creative Love we offer as much support as you will allow us. We love to introduce many of our intended parents to each other. We have witnessed many wonderful new friendship evolve.