Pros and Cons of Surrogacy: A Detailed Guide for Intended Parents and Surrogates

What You Should Know Before You Start

What does surrogacy actually cost?

• A full surrogacy journey in the United States typically runs from $100,000 to more than $250,000 once you add up agency fees, legal fees, medical costs, and surrogate compensation.
• Base pay for a Creative Love surrogate starts around $62,000. You also get extra payments for steps like starting medication, the embryo transfer, and delivery.
• Costs vary by clinic, insurance situation, and whether donor eggs or sperm are needed.

How long does the surrogacy process take?

• Most complete journeys run between 15 and 24 months from application to birth.
• Matching with the right surrogate or intended parent typically takes weeks to a few months.
• Medical screening, legal contracts, and the in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle itself each add their own timeline before a pregnancy even begins.

Am I even a candidate for surrogacy?

• Intended parents come to surrogacy from many starting points. These include infertility, medical risk, single parenthood, and LGBTQ+ family building.
• Surrogates generally need to be between 21 and 45, the range recommended by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. They also need to have given birth to and be raising a child of their own, and meet the full list of surrogate requirements.
• An agency and fertility clinic will walk you through your own situation rather than asking you to guess.

Is surrogacy legal where I live?

• Surrogacy law in the United States is not federal. It is a patchwork of state rules.
• Some states, like Florida and California, have clear statutes that support gestational surrogacy agreements.
• Other states leave surrogacy unregulated, and at least one state will not enforce a paid surrogacy contract at all.

Weighing the pros and cons of surrogacy is one of the most personal calculations you will ever make, whether you are hoping to become a parent or hoping to help someone else become one. Below, we break down what surrogacy actually involves, what it costs, and what tends to surprise both intended parents and surrogates once the process is underway.

Table of Contents

1. What Is Gestational Surrogacy? Understanding the Basics
2. Why Intended Parents and Surrogates Choose Surrogacy
3. Pros of Surrogacy for Intended Parents
4. Cons of Surrogacy for Intended Parents
5. Pros of Surrogacy for Surrogates
6. Cons of Surrogacy for Surrogates
7. How Surrogacy Laws Vary by State
8. How to Know if Surrogacy Is Right for You

What Is Gestational Surrogacy? Understanding the Basics

Surrogacy is an arrangement where one woman carries a pregnancy for another person or couple, called the intended parents, who become the child’s legal parents after birth. Most surrogacy today is gestational surrogacy. This means the surrogate, also called a gestational carrier, has no genetic link to the baby she carries. An embryo made through IVF, using the intended parents’ egg and sperm, donor eggs, or donor sperm, is placed in the surrogate’s uterus, and the pregnancy moves forward from there.

Traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate uses her own egg, is far less common today. It also brings more legal complexity, since the surrogate has a genetic link to the child. See our surrogacy types page for a full side-by-side comparison. At Creative Love, we work only with gestational surrogates, which keeps the legal picture cleaner for everyone involved. A surrogacy agency handles matching and support during the surrogacy process, a fertility clinic handles the medical side, and each party has its own lawyer to draft the surrogacy contract that protects everyone’s rights.

Why Intended Parents and Surrogates Choose Surrogacy

Surrogacy has moved from rare to fairly common. U.S. clinics logged more than 11,500 gestational carrier cycles in 2023, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. That is nearly seven times the number recorded in 2004, when this kind of tracking began. Even so, gestational carrier cycles are still a small share of all fertility treatments. Surrogacy remains a deliberate choice, not a common first step.

For intended parents, surrogacy opens a door when pregnancy is not possible or not medically safe. It gives people facing infertility, LGBTQ+ couples, and single parents by choice a way to build a family that can still carry a biological link. Many intended parents also value getting to stay closely involved throughout the surrogacy journey, from choosing their surrogate to attending the embryo transfer. They get to witness the pregnancy up close instead of watching it unfold from a distance.

Doctors think about this decision carefully too. Reporting from Axios quotes fertility doctor Laura Meyer of Illume Fertility, who has said she generally would not suggest surrogacy to a patient without a real medical reason behind it. That is a useful way to think about it. Surrogacy is a meaningful option, not a default one.

For surrogates, the decision often comes from empathy paired with a real desire for fair pay. Many surrogates say they want to help another family become parents, while also knowing pregnancy suits them well. It is not one or the other. A woman can care deeply about the family she is helping and still expect to be paid fairly for her time, risk, and effort.

Pros of Surrogacy for Intended Parents

For intended parents, our surrogacy program offers real advantages that other paths to parenthood cannot always match.

• Biological link: Gestational surrogacy lets one or both intended parents have a genetic tie to their child, which adoption cannot offer.
• A safer path than pregnancy: For intended parents who cannot carry a pregnancy for medical reasons, surrogacy removes the health risks pregnancy would otherwise bring.
• Active involvement: Intended parents can be part of the process from embryo creation through birth, rather than sitting on the sidelines.
• Legal clarity: With a good lawyer, surrogacy contracts name the legal parents before birth, which offers real peace of mind.
• Clear support: Working with an experienced agency means clear timelines, medical help, and a team that has done this before.

Cons of Surrogacy for Intended Parents

The cons of surrogacy for intended parents are just as real, and they deserve equal attention before you commit.

• High cost: A full surrogacy journey in the U.S. can run from $100,000 to more than $250,000, which puts it out of reach for some families without financing.
• Legal complexity: Surrogacy laws vary by state, and some states make the process harder or more costly.
• Emotional vulnerability: Trusting someone else to carry your child can feel like a lot, especially after past fertility struggles or loss.
• Time commitment: Between matching, screening, contracts, and the pregnancy itself, the full process asks for over a year of patience.
• Limited control: Even with great communication, intended parents have to accept that a pregnancy does not follow a script.

Pros of Surrogacy for Surrogates

Becoming a surrogate is a major decision, and it comes with meaningful rewards.

• Helping a family grow: Surrogates often call it one of the most rewarding things they have done, knowing they helped someone become a parent.
• A renewed sense of purpose: Many surrogates loved being pregnant and find real meaning in doing it again, this time for another family’s dream.
• Fair pay: Surrogates receive compensation for their time and the physical toll of the journey, which can help with real financial goals.
• A built-in support system: A good agency offers medical care, counseling, legal help, and a community of women who understand the journey firsthand.
• Legal protection: Surrogacy contracts spell out each side’s rights clearly, so a surrogate always knows where she stands.

Cons of Surrogacy for Surrogates

Surrogacy asks a great deal of the women who choose it, and the cons deserve just as much honesty.

• Physical demands: Even in a simple pregnancy, surrogacy means fertility medication, medical procedures, and a recovery period that is hard on the body.
• Emotional complexity: Carrying a baby for another family can bring up feelings you did not expect, especially around moments like ultrasounds and the birth itself.
• Time commitment: From screening through recovery after birth, the process can take well over a year and asks for real flexibility from a surrogate’s own family and job.
• Lifestyle adjustments: Surrogates follow medical guidance closely, go to frequent appointments, and sometimes travel for the embryo transfer or birth.
• Outside opinions: Not everyone understands the choice to become a surrogate, and some women end up fielding questions or judgment from people who have not walked this path.

If you still have questions after reading this, our surrogate FAQ covers 30 more.

Read more stories like this on our testimonials page.

How Surrogacy Laws Vary by State

Surrogacy law in the United States is not one set of rules. It is fifty different ones. Surrogacy agreements can be enforced in 31 states and are unregulated in 17, and courts will not enforce one in at least one state, according to data Surrogacy360 shared with Axios. That last part matters. In Nebraska, for example, state law says a paid surrogacy contract cannot be enforced, even when both people sign it willingly.

Other states make the path much clearer. California’s Family Code fully supports gestational surrogacy and lays out clear steps for naming the legal parents before birth. Florida, where Creative Love is based, works the same way under Florida Statute 742.15, which protects intended parents and gives surrogacy agreements real legal weight.

This is why legal fees are not optional in a surrogacy journey. Every reputable agency insists that surrogates and intended parents each have their own lawyer. A surrogacy contract only protects you if it is written for the state where your surrogate lives and gives birth. We work closely with our legal process partners on every match, so that piece is never left to chance. None of this is legal advice. We always encourage you to speak directly with a lawyer who handles surrogacy about your own situation.

How to Know if Surrogacy Is Right for You

There is no single right answer here, only the questions that help you find your own. For intended parents, ask yourself whether you are emotionally ready to share this experience with someone else, and whether you have the financial resources to see it through. Also consider whether you have people around you to lean on during the wait. For surrogates, ask whether you truly enjoyed your own pregnancies, whether your family supports this decision, and whether you can commit the time that appointments, the medical process, and recovery will require.

Choosing surrogacy is rarely about ruling out every alternative first. It is about recognizing which path fits your life, your values, and your capacity right now. That answer looks different for every family and every surrogate, and there is no timeline you are required to meet before you reach it.

Why Families and Surrogates Choose Creative Love

We have spent over 20 years matching intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors. That experience shapes how we talk through both the pros and cons of surrogacy with the people who trust us. Creative Love is a full-service agency, so surrogacy and egg donation live under one roof rather than being handed off between separate companies. We serve intended parents, surrogates, LGBTQ+ families, and international clients from our home base in Florida, one of the most surrogate-friendly states in the country.

Every match starts with a personal process, not a database search. Our team maintains strong partnerships with leading fertility clinics, and we run an honest process at every stage, from your first phone call through the day a baby is placed in waiting arms. You will have dedicated support from application to birth, even for the parts that are hard to hear.

If you are ready to take the next step, we would love to hear from you. Contact us at 954-776-9878, complete our intended parents application if you are hoping to grow your family, or start a surrogate application if you feel called to help build one. You can also begin either path directly through our application portal today.

Frequently Asked Questions About the Pros and Cons of Surrogacy

What is the difference between gestational and traditional surrogacy?

In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic connection to the baby, since the embryo is created from the intended parents’ egg and sperm, donor eggs, or sperm donation and then transferred to her uterus. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate uses her own egg, which means she is genetically related to the child. Gestational surrogacy is far more common today because it offers a clearer legal path for establishing parentage.

How much does surrogacy cost in total?

A complete surrogacy journey in the United States typically costs between $100,000 and $250,000 or more, depending on the surrogate’s compensation, agency fees, legal fees, and medical expenses. IVF and medication costs can add more if multiple embryo transfers are needed. An experienced agency should walk you through every line item before you commit to anything.

How much do surrogates get paid?

Base compensation for a Creative Love surrogate starts around $62,000, with additional payments tied to milestones like the start of medication, the embryo transfer, twin pregnancies, and recovery after delivery. Pay varies by agency and by the surrogate’s own experience and preferences. A surrogate should never be out of pocket for any part of the process.

Is surrogacy legal in every state?

No. Surrogacy law in the U.S. is set state by state rather than federally. Some states, including Florida and California, have clear statutes supporting gestational surrogacy agreements, while others leave the practice unregulated or, in Nebraska’s case, will not enforce a paid surrogacy contract at all. This is exactly why independent legal counsel matters so much in every journey.

How long does the surrogacy process take from start to birth?

Most complete surrogacy journeys take between 15 and 24 months from the initial application to birth. That includes matching, medical and psychological screening, drafting legal contracts, the IVF cycle, and roughly nine months of pregnancy. Some steps can move faster or slower depending on your particular circumstances.

Can single parents or LGBTQ+ couples pursue surrogacy?

Yes. Surrogacy welcomes many kinds of families. Creative Love works with married couples, single parents, LGBTQ+ families, and international parents pursuing surrogacy. We help you understand how your state’s parentage laws apply to your own family.

Do intended parents need to use their own eggs or sperm?

Not always. Many intended parents use their own eggs and sperm. Others need donor eggs, sperm donation, or both. Our team will walk you through the egg donor process, the egg donor requirements, and which option fits your budget best.

What happens if the surrogate and intended parents live in different states?

This is common, and it simply means your legal team needs to account for both states’ laws when drafting the surrogacy agreement, and sometimes the state where the birth will take place as well. It is one more reason experienced legal counsel is not optional in this process.

Is surrogacy the same as adoption?

No. Surrogacy involves creating a pregnancy through IVF and gestational carrying, and in most cases at least one intended parent has a biological connection to the child from the start. Adoption involves a child who is already born. Some families consider both paths, and comparing surrogacy and adoption side by side can help you decide which fits your family.

Further reading: Things to Consider, Surrogacy Process for Intended Parents, Questions Intended Parents Should Ask, and Surrogacy and Mental Health.

No matter how you weigh the pros and cons of surrogacy, you do not have to sort through them alone. We would love to hear your story and answer every question you have, honestly and without pressure, as you decide whether surrogacy is the right path for your family.

Wendy Arker

Wendy Arker entered the field of infertility with a huge heart and passion to guild others on their quest to grow their own family after her personal journey with infertility and turning to egg donation and sperm donation to create her own family. Being a single-mother-by-choice, Wendy understands firsthand the unique way families are built. Whether you’re a married couple, single, or LBGTQ, Creative Love is committed to assisting you.